11 May 2021 Tuesday
Evaluation of the UN report: "Early marriage is the cause of trauma"
Stating that the mental health of a child married at an early age is impaired, Child and Adolescent Psychiatrist Prof. Dr. Ayten Erdoğan says, “It is necessary not to allow marriages before the age of 18, even with the consent of the family. There should be serious criminal sanctions, especially imprisonment. Traumas, identity and personality disorders occur in children who cannot bear the responsibility of early marriage and being a mother or father. Parents should allow their children to flirt with their peers. Otherwise, eloping and marriages occur at young ages.”
Women's Unit of the United Nations (UN Women) issued a new report on the early and forced marriage of children which reveals perceptions and attitudes towards marriage. The report aims to provide guidance to facilitate men and boys to play a stronger role in creating behavioral change, eliminating early marriages and achieving gender equality.
According to the report, 25 percent of men in Turkey think that only the females under 15 years are considered to be children. Conducted with men and women from different cities of Turkey and based on qualitative and quantitative datas obtained from interviews, the report maps the attitudes and perceptions about childhood and adulthood, marriage age and applications, family and relations, individuality, gender inequality, gender norms and early & forced marriages in Turkey.
The highlights of the report are as follows:
“While 10 percent of men think that girls reaching adolescence period are ready for marriage, only 2.5 percent of them think this fact is valid for boys. 18.1 percent of the participants think that early and forced marriage should not receive a punishment. While 27.9 percent say that the father and mother have the last say when making a marriage decision for a girl, this rate is 23.8 percent for a boy. When they witnesses early and forced marriage, the rate of those saying "I don't find it right but I am not the right person to intervene" is 36.8 percent. Among the participants, the rate of those who say that their mother married at a child age was 26.7 percent, while the rate of those who said that their father got married at a child age was 7.18 percent. The rate of girls who cannot attend school due to early and forced marriage is 19 percent while this rate is 10.5 percent in boys. 18 percent of the married participants state that they are in a consanguineous marriage."
The report also includes participants' views on early marriage. Some of the views are as follows:
“When I was 17, i was obligated to marry, even though I didn't want it. In my environment people said that I was a grownup, I became a man, I had to get married. Here, you know, when one reaches the age of 17, they get married directly. Because you are a man. I had a forced marriage and I didn't realize I was still growing up. "
"When the woman turns 35, nobody wants her."
“But there are differences between men and women. If a woman does not marry at a young age, her chance to get married decreases. "
“My cousin got married at the age of 15 and became a mother at the age of 16. She is not a mother to her children, my aunt brings up children. That's why these kids raise their children while they raise themselves. Everything is left unfinished, left incomplete. They're crushed."
“My wife was 14 years old, she was my uncle's daughter and I was 8 years older, I did my military service and got married with her a year later. The important thing was her morality, I liked everything about her and I married her. My daughter got married at the age of 22. I made her marry her uncle’s son."
Evaluating the results of the report, Child and Adolescent Psychiatrist Prof. Dr. Ayten Erdoğan says that not only the early marriages but also consanguineous marriages are welcomed in some parts of Turkey.
PEOPLE MARRYING YOUNG CAN’T STAND THE RESPONSIBILITY OF A CHILD
Stating that early marriage is very harmful for children and the children they will bring into the world, Prof. Dr. Erdogan says, “When 14,15, 16 years old children became parents developed countries had a lot of trouble. Thousands of children abandoned their babies because they could not bear the responsibility of having a child. Adolescents get bored with the person in their lives after a while and they can instantly end their marriage.”
"SEXUAL EXPERIENCE AT EARLY AGES IMPAIRS THE MENTAL HEALTH OF CHILD"
Noting that sexuality experienced in early marriages creates a traumatic effect, Prof. Dr. Erdogan says, “It deeply injures the mental health of child, which makes them vulnerable to all kinds of mental problems such as personality and identity disorder. One of my patients, who was 15 years old and lived in a smaller place, eloped with a 28 years old man she met online. Her family brought the child to me to consult on what needs to be done. The girl told me ‘Everybody in our village gets married at my age, what I did was not abnormal. Even my mother said she got married at my age.’ When I met with her mother, she confirmed what her daughter said, it's a terrible situation. The girl behaved in accordance with her environment.”
“SHOULD BE PENALIZED”
Emphasizing that there should be serious criminal sanctions for those who force individuals under 18 to marry for sexual or marital purposes, Prof. Dr. Ayten Erdoğan says, “The prison sentence should also be applied. Children under the age of 18 should not be allowed to get married. In our country, girls who reaches 16 can marry with the permission of their parents. Courts ask us “Can the child marry? Is their mental health suitable for this or not? We are very uncomfortable with these questions. In our opinion, no one is ready for marriage before the age of 18. That's why we write ‘no mental illness right now’ in the report and pass over it. We never write ‘she can marry’.”
FAMILIES SHOULD ALLOW THEIR CHILDREN TO FLIRT
Warning that dating should be experienced at this age group, Prof. Dr. Erdogan says, “Adolescents of the same age can flirt by holding hands and sitting side by side. When families do not allow their adolescent children to flirt, these adolescents think that sexual intimacy can be reached only through marriage. Therefore, situations such as eloping and marriage emerge. When parents allow them to flirt with their peers under their control during adolescence it will prevent them from eloping and getting married. Flirting while growing up is refused, there is such a prohibition, but this causes our girls to elope at an early age.”
